第516期:European Jokes 欧洲段子

今天我们不讲单词和成语,来聊个轻松的话题:European jokes.

*为行文之便,本文中把jokes翻译为段子,而不是笑话或幽默。

笑话和幽默每个国家都有,表现形式不同,笑点也不同。欢迎大家留言分享你听过的好英语段子。

国家与国家之间互相开玩笑,彼此揶揄是再正常不过的事情,欧洲各国彼此都笑话别国,英国人热爱嘲笑法国人和德国人,法国人喜欢嘲笑比利时人,全体欧洲人都喜欢嘲笑英国人,美国人喜欢嘲笑全世界人,而德国人是我见过的最热爱自嘲的一个民族。

*为避免不必要的麻烦,本文仅谈欧洲的英语段子,不谈亚洲的现象。

下面举几个例子,看看你能不能看懂:

Spanish on Portuguse: (西班牙人笑话葡萄牙人)

Portugal is the only country in the world where a man’s mistress is uglier than his wife”. 这“两颗牙”从未停止过打嘴仗。西班牙人喜欢嘲笑普遍内向木讷的葡萄牙人,还有葡萄牙人的长相和审美观。

Portugal On Spanish people:(葡萄牙人嘲笑西班牙人)

How do you recognize a Spaniard in a library?
– He is the only one to look after a world map of Madrid

这里的点是揶揄西班牙人傲慢和无知。

France On Belgian people:(法国人嘲笑比利时人)

Two Belgians are driving a truck and arrive at a bridge with a
warning sign: maximum height 4 meters. They get off and measure their
truck. It’s 6 meters high.

– What shall we do? asks the one.
– I don’t see any police, says the other one, so let’s drive on

哈哈,这个我笑了。

法国人总认为比利时人是最蠢的。

Belgium On French people: (比利时人嘲笑法国人)

– Why do we say ‘going to the toilets’ in France and ‘going to the toilet’ in Belgium ?
– Because in France, you have to visit many of them before finding one clean enough.

比利时人嘲笑法国人不讲卫生。

Sweden On Danish people: (瑞典人嘲笑丹麦人)

Why do Danish people never play hide and seek?
– Because nobody wants to look for them.

Sweden On Finnish people: (瑞典人嘲笑芬兰人)

The difference between a Finnish wedding and a Finnish funeral is that at a funeral there’s one person not having vodka.”

Finland On Swedish people: (芬兰人嘲笑瑞典人)

– What is the difference between Swedes and Finns?
– The Swedes have nice neighbors!

Denmark On Swedish people: (丹麦人嘲笑瑞典人)

Keep Denmark clean – show a Swede to the ferry.”

Germany On Dutch people: (德国人嘲笑荷兰人)

Why did Ikea stop opening stores in the Netherlands?
– They couldn’t afford the free pencils anymore
.

Poland On German people: (波兰人嘲笑德国人)

– What is the name of this German who always hides my glasses?
-Alzheimer, grandpa!

*最热衷嘲笑德国人的是波兰人,类似爱尔兰人最喜欢嘲笑英国人。

Switzerland On Austrian people: (瑞士人嘲笑奥地利人)

“Why is the Austrian flag ‘red-white-red’?
– So that they can’t raise it upside-down. 

*由于德国、奥地利、瑞士三国有共同的语言(德语),这三家之间最爱互相嘲讽。

最后来几个德国段子,还不错。

“Two Martinis, bitte.”
“Dry?”
“Nein, I said TWO!”

哈哈,这个是德国人自嘲德国人讲不好英语的。你如果学过德语发音,一看就笑了。(德国人说dry这个词听起来像drei,德语“3”,所以下面才说“不是三杯,我要两杯,two.)

What does it mean when a cow is nicer than a woman? – You are in Germany!”

德国男人普遍不喜欢德国女人,真的。

Why do Germans have huge heads? Otherwise the mouth would not fit in. (德国人自嘲德国人大嘴巴喜欢串闲话)

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Germany? He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving. (哈哈哈哈哈,这个是德国人嘲笑波兰人傻的)

今天就到这里。感谢你的阅读,明天见。