第516期：European Jokes 欧洲段子
今天我们不讲单词和成语，来聊个轻松的话题：European jokes.
*为行文之便，本文中把jokes翻译为段子，而不是笑话或幽默。
笑话和幽默每个国家都有，表现形式不同，笑点也不同。欢迎大家留言分享你听过的好英语段子。
国家与国家之间互相开玩笑，彼此揶揄是再正常不过的事情，欧洲各国彼此都笑话别国，英国人热爱嘲笑法国人和德国人，法国人喜欢嘲笑比利时人，全体欧洲人都喜欢嘲笑英国人，美国人喜欢嘲笑全世界人，而德国人是我见过的最热爱自嘲的一个民族。
*为避免不必要的麻烦，本文仅谈欧洲的英语段子，不谈亚洲的现象。
下面举几个例子，看看你能不能看懂：
Spanish on Portuguse: (西班牙人笑话葡萄牙人）
“Portugal is the only country in the world where a man’s mistress is uglier than his wife”. 这“两颗牙”从未停止过打嘴仗。西班牙人喜欢嘲笑普遍内向木讷的葡萄牙人，还有葡萄牙人的长相和审美观。
Portugal On Spanish people:(葡萄牙人嘲笑西班牙人）
– How do you recognize a Spaniard in a library?
– He is the only one to look after a world map of Madrid ”
这里的点是揶揄西班牙人傲慢和无知。
France On Belgian people:(法国人嘲笑比利时人）
Two Belgians are driving a truck and arrive at a bridge with a
warning sign: maximum height 4 meters. They get off and measure their
truck. It’s 6 meters high.
– What shall we do? asks the one.
– I don’t see any police, says the other one, so let’s drive on
哈哈，这个我笑了。
法国人总认为比利时人是最蠢的。
Belgium On French people: (比利时人嘲笑法国人）
– Why do we say ‘going to the toilets’ in France and ‘going to the toilet’ in Belgium ?
– Because in France, you have to visit many of them before finding one clean enough.
比利时人嘲笑法国人不讲卫生。
Sweden On Danish people: (瑞典人嘲笑丹麦人）
– Why do Danish people never play hide and seek?
– Because nobody wants to look for them.
Sweden On Finnish people: (瑞典人嘲笑芬兰人）
“The difference between a Finnish wedding and a Finnish funeral is that at a funeral there’s one person not having vodka.”
Finland On Swedish people: (芬兰人嘲笑瑞典人）
– What is the difference between Swedes and Finns?
– The Swedes have nice neighbors!
Denmark On Swedish people: (丹麦人嘲笑瑞典人）
“Keep Denmark clean – show a Swede to the ferry.”
Germany On Dutch people: (德国人嘲笑荷兰人）
–Why did Ikea stop opening stores in the Netherlands?
– They couldn’t afford the free pencils anymore.
Poland On German people: (波兰人嘲笑德国人）
– What is the name of this German who always hides my glasses?
-Alzheimer, grandpa!
*最热衷嘲笑德国人的是波兰人，类似爱尔兰人最喜欢嘲笑英国人。
Switzerland On Austrian people: （瑞士人嘲笑奥地利人）
“Why is the Austrian flag ‘red-white-red’?
– So that they can’t raise it upside-down.
*由于德国、奥地利、瑞士三国有共同的语言（德语），这三家之间最爱互相嘲讽。
最后来几个德国段子，还不错。
“Two Martinis, bitte.”
“Dry?”
“Nein, I said TWO!”
哈哈，这个是德国人自嘲德国人讲不好英语的。你如果学过德语发音，一看就笑了。（德国人说dry这个词听起来像drei，德语“3”，所以下面才说“不是三杯，我要两杯，two.）
What does it mean when a cow is nicer than a woman? – You are in Germany!”
德国男人普遍不喜欢德国女人，真的。
Why do Germans have huge heads? Otherwise the mouth would not fit in. （德国人自嘲德国人大嘴巴喜欢串闲话）
Why wasn’t Jesus born in Germany? He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving. （哈哈哈哈哈，这个是德国人嘲笑波兰人傻的）
今天就到这里。感谢你的阅读，明天见。
