第1791期：世界10大最古老的笑话
2008年，一群英国历史学家公布了他们考证出的人类历史上最古老的十个笑话，最老的是公元前1900多年前（1900BC）的段子。
第十名：古希腊，300-400 AD，关于理发的段子。
Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: “In silence.”
理发师问国王要怎么剪头发，国王说“不吭声地剪。”
好冷。
第九名：古希腊，300-400 AD，关于驴的段子。
Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: “I’ve had a great loss! Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.”
第八名：古罗马，63 BC to 14 AD.
The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.
Intrigued, he asked: “Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?”
“No, your Highness,” the man replied, “but my father was.”
哈哈哈哈，原来传统相声的伦理哏自古就有。这个段子后世在各国有很多变体。
第七名：古埃及，30BC，荤段子。
Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey. His purse is what restrains him.
第六名：古希腊，429 BC。
Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening?
Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age.
古希腊人连讲个段子都这么富有哲理。
第五名：古希腊，800BC。
Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is ‘Nobody.’
When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: “Help, Nobody is attacking me!
No one comes to help.
*出自荷马史诗《奥德赛》
你有没有想到马三立的那个单口《逗你玩》？
“妈妈，他偷咱家衣服。”
“谁啊？”
“逗你玩”
“介孩子。”
第四名：1100BC，婚姻笑话。
A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years.
When he found another woman he said to her, “I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye.”
And she answered him: “Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage?”
第三名：古埃及，1200BC，是个谜语。
Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon’s load.
The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen.
So they all went.
In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf, which ate the wagon’s load.
Problem: Who owns the calf?
这个段子很适合改编成一个相声小段。
第二名：古埃及，1800-1600 BC，又一个荤段子。
How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?
You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.
第一名：苏美尔，1900BC，关于放屁的段子。
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial …
A young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.
*英文段子摘自https://www.insider.com/historians-10-oldest-jokes-in-history-1900bc-2019-7
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汉语中最古老的笑话是什么？请知道的读者赐教。据说《诗经》里就有很多小段子，西汉时的东方朔还被相声界尊为祖师爷呢。
屎尿屁和下三路是所有笑话都离不开的话题，在讲个笑话都要提心吊胆必须高雅催人尿下的地方，产生不了好笑话，人们也轻松不起来。
我最喜欢的美国当代脱口秀（stand-up comedy）女星Nikky Glaser的专场，从头到尾都少儿不宜，全是下三路，大段大段对自己私密生活和身体的自嘲，细致入微，但一点都不让人觉得淫秽或下流，这就叫水平。这要放在有些地方，还不得全屏404马赛克消音&*%¥#@！啊？
有兴趣有条件的读者可以看看，如果能听懂30%，就能笑出来，如果能听懂50%，你的英文就算可以了。
https://www.hbo.com/movies/nikki-glaser-good-clean-filth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YntBaJ8FiK0
