第1136期：你的5个好友除以5就是你 – You are who you are with

不知你有没有听说过这个理论：

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn

前天读到这篇文章，忍不住暗中算了一下我身边的5个我最常见到的人，好像还真的有点道理。

*原文：You Are The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With

这个理论的大意是：

The people you spend the most time with shape who you are. They
determine what conversations dominate your attention. They affect to
which attitudes and behaviors you are regularly exposed. Eventually you
start to think like they think and behave like they behave. –Maarten van Doorn

这种影响有多大呢？

“According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of
Harvard, [the people you habitually associate with] determine as much as
95 percent of your success or failure in life.”

95%！

你身边的每个人，你做的每件小事，都是构成你个人整体的元素。如果你的梦想很大，但身处的环境太小，无法容纳和实现你的梦想，你就需要走出那个环境，走向更大的世界。这个世界，不仅指你所在的环境和位置，更指你身边围绕的人。

所以古代忠臣都喜欢劝皇帝要亲贤臣远小人，所以很多父母希望孩子上重点中学，孟母又是断机杼又是择邻处，其实心理原因都一样—— 近朱者赤，近墨者黑；you are who you are with. 

作者最后建议——Surround yourself with people you admire. 

说白了就是多跟比你强的人在一起。

虽然有点势力和世俗，但现世所谓的“成功”不都是这样的吗？

By the way, “近朱者赤，近墨者黑”这句谚语的英语翻译很有意思，限于篇幅，今天先不讲了。我看到好多种五花八门的翻译，有两个译本很好玩：

If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

If you live with a lame person, you will learn to limp.

以后专门讲一期谚语翻译吧。

以上是跟你分享的我最近读过的一篇文章，有条件的读者可以阅读原文：https://medium.com/the-polymath-project/you-are-the-average-of-the-five-people-you-spend-the-most-time-with-a2ea32d08c72#2c2f

文中还提到了一本书，我已加入下个月的书单，是一本帮你认识自己，很励志的书：

The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success, by Darren Hardy