第1693期:Opinions are like assholes
办公室里有个老娘们儿特别老娘们儿,大嗓门儿说话像吵架。她的声音波长大概跟我犯冲,每次她一说话我就头疼,physically headache,就像进了牙科诊所……她的话特别多,什么事都要发表意见,几乎每条见解都很偏执,每天咬牙切齿剑拔弩张恨不得立即上战场拼刺刀的那种架势,看得我心惊肉跳肝儿颤。女的?嗯。
很多人不说话你不知道ta的底细,一张嘴就全暴露了,透过她叨叨叨叨叨叨永远合不上的嘴你能清楚地看见她内裤上的花。
英文里有个词 opinionated 形容的就是这类刚愎自用、固执己见、咋咋唬唬的偏执狂。柯林斯字典解释得好:If you describe someone as opinionated, you mean that they have very strong opinions and refuse to accept that they may be wrong.
关于opinion,我听过最经典的一句话说:观点/看法就像屁眼儿,人人都有一个。
这句话的英文原文有三个版本:
Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one.
Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one and they usually stink.
Opinions are like assholes: everybody’s got one, and everybody thinks theirs smells nicer than everyone else’s.
意思一样——每个人都觉得自己是对的,别人是错的,只有自己是正常人,别人都是SB。这个逻辑越循环越死,人越来越近视和健忘。一条道走到黑,只给自己留地狱一条路。
人越穷越怕被人看出穷,人越挫越怕听“滴、敌、底、地”字,他听着都像“低”。人越心虚越喜欢吹牛X,但不定哪天就毁容了。怎么呢?牛坐下了。