第1798期：Middle age is…

Middle age is when awakened by a telephone ring at midnight, you wish it were a trash call you hate and ignore during the day.

Middle age is when someone chokes up on food, you will give him a glass of water, knowing better than telling him to eat slowly.

Middle age is when scolded by your wife, you know that a shut mouth and a bear hug outsmart ten thousand words.

Middle age is when you believe you are still young when young people call you uncle or aunt and think you are old when old people call you kid or son.

Middle age is when you cut off your nagging mother by saying, “Mom, I’m not a child,” and she waves you off with a “But you are.”

Middle age is when you see someone’s fly is down, you instinctively check yours before laughing at him.

Middle age is when you know everyone can be an asshole, not only your boss, your loud neighbor, or the fucking driver in front of you.

Middle age is when you are convinced you cannot do 99% of the great things you thought you could; even worse, sometimes you think you cannot do 100% of them.

Middle age is when you often regret more for having said something than having missed the chance to say something.

Middle age is when you start to like yourself in a different light, not because you are better than others but because you are not worse.

Middle age is when you stop begging for friendship. If someone unfriends you, fuck them, the loss is theirs. You are a nomad, happy and free in your self-awareness.

Middle age is when you have learned to smile more and speak less, or if you smile less, think more. You believe in your own philosophy, think in your own words, stand on your own feet, and live for your own purpose.

Middle age is when you don’t say, “Even if 1000 people have failed, count me as the 1001st.” Instead, you say, “If 1000 have failed, poor them. I am out of here.”

Middle age is when you have forsaken the idea of becoming a movie director and accepted that your life is a film, per se, if not a thriller, at least a documentary.

Middle age is when you realize you are no different than others but only different in the way you like.

Middle age is when you probably have divorced once or twice (no, it can’t be four times – you are not a rock gambler) or are still with your first puppy love (good for you, I mean, sorry for that).

Middle age is every time you call your mom, you still frown upon her chattering, but before hanging up, you wish she would keep rattling forever.

Middle age is when you hear something on TV or the Internet, you know at least half is bullshit and the other half horse manure.

Middle age is when I no longer care whether someone likes or sneers at my writing. Leave a comment if the above rings a bell to you.