第1576期：为什么记不住狗主人的名字？

“I was invited by Nelson Mandela to stay at his home for ten days. At first, I was very intimidated. I’d said to my partner Stedman, ‘What am I going to talk about for ten days and ten nights at Nelson Mandela’s house?’ And Stedman said, ‘Why don’t you try listening?” — Oprah Winfrey

外企开会喜欢让在座的每个人先自我介绍一下，目的是让大家彼此认识，起码知道各自来自哪个部门。

这种介绍的格式一般是：

Hi, my name is… from … department/function. I have been with the company for … years. Blah, blah, blah.

我不知道你觉得怎么样，反正我发现这种自我介绍基本没人认真听。大多数人在别人做介绍时其实心里在暗暗打腹稿准备自己等一下的介绍。常常一圈人都自我介绍完了，大家根本没记住几个名字，还是不知道谁是谁。因为只想着介绍自己了，根本顾不上听别人说什么。

这大概是现代人的一个通病吧，我们很少会耐心听别人说话，我们只想着别人赶快说完，好轮到我们说。

Stephen Covey总结过：

“We don’t listen to hear; we listen to respond.”

*Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

一群人挨个做自我介绍，结果谁也没记住谁，同事了几年还是形同陌路，这在外企相当普遍。

很多时候，人们记不住其他人的名字，但很容易记住别人家狗的名字。为什么？因为狗不会跟我们抢着说话啊，我们不用担心狗比我们self introduction做得好。

“Take first introductions. We often miss what people are saying—including their names—because we are distracted, sizing them up, thinking about how we are coming across and what we are going to say. Not so when you meet a dog, which is why you can more easily remember a dog’s name than its owner’s.” – Kate Murphy, “You’re Not Listening: What You are Missing and Why It Matters”

这段话写得很棒，把人的心理描抓得很准。

最后，问问你自己：

Who is the best listener that you know?

Who is the worst listener?

Which one do you like better (suppose they are equally handsome or pretty?)

谁会不喜欢那个愿意听我们说话的人呢？